I woke up coughing up
bloody-sputum again.
My lungs ache.
I do not know if this is just
from chemical exposures, or if it is a compounding infection.
I made a doctor's appointment, but does it really matter?
I made a doctor's appointment, but does it really matter?
I am told by people to go to the
doctor, but what can they do?
If it is another infection, it
just needs to run its course.
Constantly taking antibiotics is
making the infections become resistant to them.
Multiple Chemical Sensitivity is not a recognized syndrome or disorder, according to the American
Medical Association.
Guess What?
I am living proof that it does
exist.
I exist.
I am constantly gasping for
breath, and fighting for clean air.
They are few refuges and
safe-spaces for folks like myself.
The ones that do exist are few
and far between.
Outside is polluted with smog,
dust, mold, disease, unsafe plastics, tobacco-smoke, and
petrochemicals.
These chemicals accumulate from
people's toiletries, cosmetics, personal-care products, and laundry.
Inside spaces are rarely
chemical- and scent-free.
This world is no longer safe.
Our air is toxic.
This affects all life, but it
impacts some of us, the most.
We are the ones who suffer in
silence.
We feel guilt, shame,
embarrassment and fear when asking for completely reasonable
accommodations.
We need to ask people permission
to breathe.
We are put in positions in which
we need to ask people to make a conscious effort to be aware, to
police themselves, and to give up their privileges to do and wear
what they want, so that we may be able to breathe just a little bit
better.
I, personally, as well as most
folks like me, rarely have the physical, mental, or emotional energy to have these
conversations.
Talking is difficult when you
are constantly gasping for breath, which makes fighting for clean air, virtually impossible.
The majority of people are not
willing to part with their ways, so I pay dearly, as do other folks
who are suffering like I am.
Society tells us the way we
smell and the way we look is not okay.
We feel we must alter our
natural states of humanity and beauty with chemicals that are
detrimental to our health.
We do not realize that this
comes at a cost, as does everything.
The cost is me. The cost is us.
Is there anything more important
than people's ability to breathe?
We are dis-enabling folks in our
society from their abilities to show-up and be present in this world.
Society-at-large is okay with
this, as it does not directly affect most people, the way it does for
us.
Although polluted-air harms us
all, the ones who get sick are the ones who suffer.
We are the ones who slip through
the cracks or get thrown under the bus.
We hide in the silence.
We are the ones who must out
ourselves when we are gasping for breath and become tokenized in the
fight for clean air.
In order to have these
conversations, we are forced to become martyrs for the cause, having
to expose ourselves to fight for everyone's right to breathe clean
air.
We are the ones who are alone,
isolated from our friends, our families, our communities, and this world.
We are stuck at home, which for
many of us, is not a safe place, either.
We can not properly function at
a job or in school.
We are made to feel bad about
ourselves and it becomes our individual problems, rather than societal ones.
Regardless, we are the ones who suffer.
